


Harry Potter NSFW Alphabet

by Dark_Dhampir



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harem, Anal Sex, Bisexual Female Character, F/F, F/M, Happy Sex, Harems, Loving Sex, Masturbation, Multi, Oral Sex, Public Sex, Rough Sex, Semi-Public Sex, Sex, Sibling Incest, Threesome - F/F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-26
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-16 16:55:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 4,515
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29085714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dark_Dhampir/pseuds/Dark_Dhampir
Summary: I really shouldn't be doing this when I already have so many irons in the fire.  But, it's light and fun, so . . . yeah.  Bring on the sexy times!A description of the loves of Harry's life, in a hypothetical harem Alt. U.
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood/Harry Potter
Kudos: 10





	1. Hermione Granger

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [RWBY NSFW Alphabet (F Reader)](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25978267) by [OpenLion](https://archiveofourown.org/users/OpenLion/pseuds/OpenLion). 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This borrows a lot from Hermione's presentation in Radaslab's "The Harem War."

**A = Aftercare** (what they’re like after sex)

After sex, Hermione is usually too tired out to do anything after sex but fall asleep in her lover's arms. The others are used to this and know they're dependent on themselves or others if they need anything after sex with her, and to keep their wands nearby to use a spell to extricate themselves from the bushy-haired brunette's embrace.

 **B = Body Part** (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Hermione likes her breasts. They're above average but not so big as to become a nuisance. She doesn't have a lot of confidence in the rest of her appearance. Harry tells her she’s beautiful. So does Luna, Daphne, Fleur, and all the others. She might be starting to believe them.

Her favorite part of her lovers is their faces. Eyes, mouth, cheeks, everything. She especially loves watching their expressions during sex.

 **C = Cum** (anything to do with cum, basically)

Hermione loves the feeling of Harry coming inside her. Someday, she’ll have his children, but for now she enjoys the way his seed feels in her pussy or her mouth. She also loves licking it out of her wives' pussies.

 **D = Dirty Secret** (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Hermione's dirtiest secret used to be just how much of a nymphomaniac she is. Now, her biggest secret is that she's curious about bondage; she's fanaticized about being tied up and taken by her lovers, but she's still too proud and prim (and embarrassed) to admit to it. Though, she gets the impression that Luna's figured it out. 

**E = Experience** (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

The first time she and Harry had sex, Hermione was a virgin, though she'd read quite a bit on the subject of sex, and she'd had plenty of experience pleasing herself.

 **F = Favorite Position** (this goes without saying)

Hermione’s favorite positions are the ones that lets her face her lovers. She loves to straddle her lovers and ride them or lie beneath them or lie beside them. Hermione doesn’t care much if she’s on top or bottom; either is fine as long as she can kiss them and see their reactions and they can see hers.

 **G = Goofy** (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Hermione is willing to put up with other people’s jokes—to an extent—during sex, but she considers lovemaking serious business. Privately though, she enjoys Luna’s odd comments.

 **H = Hair** (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Hermione dislikes how thick her hair grows down there. She knows its job is to protect her sensitive places from infection, but it was always a nuisance. She tried to keep it trimmed, but it grew too fast and too thick, so she gave up, and now she just shaves herself completely. Her family seems to like it, so it all works out as far as she’s concerned. 

**I = Intimacy** (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Hermione loves to watch her lovers’ faces. Afterwards, she loves cuddling and falling asleep in their arms.

 **J = Jack Off** (masturbation headcanon)

Hermione has been masturbating since she was 12, and she still pleases herself at least once a day if she can help it and can't find a partner for actual sex. Even if she can, she enjoys having an audience. She eschews toys; her hands are good enough. She likes to use her left hand on her breasts and her right on her pussy.

 **K = Kink** (one or more of their kinks)

Voyeurism and exhibitionism are Hermione's two biggest kinds. She loves to watch and be watched. 

**L = Location** (favorite places to do the do)

After the bedroom, Hermione enjoys making love in the Potter Manor library. Everyone likes to joke about this, but it’s the truth. Conveniently, there are some very large, very comfortable couches and chairs for her use.

 **M = Motivation** (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sex is its own motivation, as far as Hermione is concerned. She gets horny at the sight, sound, or thought of her loved ones having sex with each other or her, and then she'll either try to join in or watch (preferably while touching herself). If time is an issue, she'll hold off until she has a chance to take care of herself properly.

 **N = No** (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Hermione isn’t interested in anal sex. At all. Period. 

**O = Oral** (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Hermione enthusiastically gives and receives oral sex to and from her lovers. She loves the feel of Harry’s cock in her mouth or one of her wives' pussies under her tongue. She’s gotten to be very good at it, too. So far, though she insists on being the one in charge when she gives it. That may change if she ever decides to share her fantasies with her family.

 **P = Pace** (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Hermione can take it slow and be gentle when she wants to. Usually she doesn’t; usually, she wants to make wild, intense love with her partner, then cuddle and be romantic later. She’s the living embodiment of “It’s always the quiet ones . . .”

 **Q = Quickie** (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

If there’s no time for anything else, Hermione will accept a quickie. It’s not her preference, but she’s pragmatic.

 **R = Risk** (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Hermione doesn't take real risks, but she's willing to pretend. Part of the reason she enjoys having sex in the family library is that it feels almost like public sex, but she knows there's no real risk to it.

 **S = Stamina** (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Hermione can usually go for two or three rounds. The others have learned to expect 1-2 hour-long sessions with her.

 **T = Toys** (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

While she’s all right with her lovers occasionally using a toy on her, Hermione doesn’t own any herself and has little interest in them. She prefers to use her hands and tongue and likes to feel her partners’.

 **U = Unfair** (how much they like to tease)

Again, Hermione treats sex fairly seriously. She doesn’t rush, but she doesn't draw things out for no reason. She doesn't tease, although she thinks about it in her BDSM fantasies.

 **V = Volume** (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Hermione doesn’t make a lot of noise during sex, at least loud noise. She hurts and puffs and gasps and makes other quiet sounds (which Harry and Luna and Fleur all agree are adorable). She makes a kind of choked cry when she comes, but again it isn’t very loud.

 **W = Wild Card** (a random headcanon for the character)

Hermione's had fantasies about abusing her Time Turner to have sex with herself or to have sex with all of her spouses at once or any other number of irresponsible things. She never did it; it was too big a risk, but she's shared them with her family, and they've all agreed it would have been fun.

 **X = X-Ray** (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Under her clothes, anyone can see Hermione is beautiful. She has very smooth skin, and her adventures with Harry have taught her the value of exercise, so she has a decent amount of lean muscle. Her breasts are high C cups, topped with small pink nipples. As stated, she keeps herself shaved.

 **Y = Yearning** (how high is their sex drive?)

Everyone was surprised by how high Hermione’s sex drive is, not that they're complaining. She knows how to prioritize most of the time, but when it’s her turn or she has the time, she’s very eager.

 **Z = Zzz** (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Hermione tends to fall asleep fast. Sex tires her out, and she prefers to get up early anyway. She goes even faster if she has a warm body to snuggle up against.


	2. Luna Lovgood

**A = Aftercare** (what they’re like after sex)

Luna likes to cuddle after sex. She isn't as grabby as Hermione, but she enjoys snuggling up with her spouse. In terms of pillow-talk, there isn't any; Luna talks about the same stuff after sex that she talks about the rest of the time. Her family's used to it by now.

 **B = Body Part** (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Luna loves her whole body and the bodies of her lovers likewise. If she had to pick, though, she say she’s proudest of her legs and butt, and she likes those of her loves too.

 **C = Cum** (anything to do with cum, basically)

Luna enjoys cum, especially male cum. She loves to drink it, to feel it in her pussy or ass, or to rub it on her skin.

 **D = Dirty Secret** (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Luna doesn't have any sexual secrets. She's comfortable with herself and her spouses, and she's open with all of her needs and desires.

 **E = Experience** (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Luna's life in Ravenclaw means she didn't have any sexual experience before joining; she barely had any experience with friends, but she learned both fast.

 **F = Favorite Position** (this goes without saying)

Luna loves any position her partner enjoys: face-to-face, riding, scissoring, sixty-nine, anal sex, etc. She’s flexible, physically and mentally. 

**G = Goofy** (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Luna’s always goofy, except when she’s not. Sex to her is a celebration; sometimes it’s fun, and sometimes it’s serious. It depends on the circumstances.

 **H = Hair** (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Luna keeps a tiny patch of white-blonde hair above her slit for decoration while also keeping it out of the way. She likes to change the design she's shaved it into; **i** t's looked like Harry's scar, card suits, and an arrowhead pointing up and down.

 **I = Intimacy** (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Luna can be joyous or serious as the occasion calls for it. She often performs spontaneous acts of affection for her lovers. Because of how she lost her mother and the years of loneliness she experienced before meeting Harry and company, she wants her family to know how much they mean to her.

 **J = Jack Off** (masturbation headcanon)

Luna masturbates as she feels like it. She isn't as needy as Hermione, though she does enjoy mutual masturbation with the brunette.

 **K = Kink** (one or more of their kinks)

Luna loves group sex. She loves all of her spouses and likes to spend as much time with them as possible. 

**L = Location** (favorite places to do the do)

Luna doesn’t have any concerns about location. Any place is a good place for sex.

 **M = Motivation** (what turns them on, gets them going)

Luna is always in the mood; she just waits for other people to get interested, then she goes for as long as they can stand it.

 **N = No** (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

So far, no one has wanted to do anything Luna doesn’t want to. 

**O = Oral** (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Luna enjoys oral sex a lot, especially if her partner returns the favor. It’s up for debate just how skilled she is at it vs. how enthusiastic she is.

 **P = Pace** (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Luna prefers fast, or at least medium-paced sex. She sometimes enjoys slow and sensual (especially with Padma), but prefers to move with speed. She isn't very rough though, unless it's what her partner wants.

 **Q = Quickie** (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Luna is always up for a quickie.

 **R = Risk** (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Despite all her free-spirited-ness, Luna doesn't take many risks. She knows her loves wouldn't be as comfortable with that, so she doesn't push it.

 **S = Stamina** (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

How long does Luna last? No one knows; her partners always stop before her, and then she cuddles up to them and kisses them good night. 

**T = Toys** (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Luna owns a lot of toys, and she knows to use them to please both a partner and herself.

 **U = Unfair** (how much they like to tease)

Luna loves to throw people for a loop. She doesn’t tease the normal way; rather, she says even more confusing things (some of which really are just nonsense to mess with people’s heads).

 **V = Volume** (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

She's a very loud lover. Everyone can hear when Luna's having sex because she's shouting for everyone to hear. The family is a little scared of what things will be like when they start having children. 

**W = Wild Card** (a random headcanon for the character)

Luna is something of a nudist. She walks around the house naked when it’s just family. The others were embarrassed at first, but they’ve come to appreciate the sight of a naked Luna.

 **X = X-Ray** (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Under her clothes, Luna is very pale, permanently so; she never seems to tan. Luna has a lithe body with smallish breasts (B-cup), but they have large areolas. Her pussy hair is shaved into a small patch above her womanhood. It's shape changes with her mood; currently it looks like Harry's scar. 

**Y = Yearning** (how high is their sex drive?)

As said before, Luna is always up for sex, but she rarely comes off as needy (and even then, she usually playing it up).

 **Z = Zzz** (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Unless she has something to say, Luna falls asleep as soon as she's done. Even though her partner(s) is usually more exhausted than she is. It's a little disconcerting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luna is both beautiful and scary.


	3. Nymphadora Tonks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this setting, it's presumed that Tonks can assume a male form, and she's fertile in it.

**A = Aftercare** (what they’re like after sex)

Whatever form she took during sex, afterwards, Tonks always shifts back into her usual state in the afterglow, but she only has enough energy left for a couple minutes' conversation/snipping before she falls asleep.

 **B = Body Part** (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Tonks' metamorphamagus abilities make picking a favorite part of her own body an exercise in futility, even though her family say they love her favored form. Regardless, she enjoys playing with her powers. 

She says her favorite parts of her spouses are Harry's dick and her wives' breasts and asses. They're not sure how much they believe her. 

**C = Cum** (anything to do with cum, basically)

In her male form, Tonks loves to come inside (pussy, mouth, or ass) or on the bodies of her wives (belly, tits, face, hand, etc.). In her female form, she enjoys the same treatment from Harry.

 **D = Dirty Secret** (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Tonks wants to try sex with Harry in her male form. She hasn't asked him, since she knows he isn't into guys, but she does fantasize about it. She's considering asking for a hair for polyjuice, but she feels too weird about it for now.

 **E = Experience** (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Tonks was the most experienced of the family prior to marriage. She knows how to treat a woman or a man, though she never had a threesome before Luna.

 **F = Favorite Position** (this goes without saying)

Tonks has a lot of favorites, depending on whether she's in her male or female body. Either way, she likes to be in charge. In her male form, she likes doggie style, but she'll also pound a partner missionary-style, often holding her wife's legs wide. As a woman, she's still on top, riding Harry cowgirl or reverse cowgirl, and she'll grind her wife's pussy with her hand or her own cunt. In both forms, she likes sex against the wall (forward or backward).

 **G = Goofy** (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Tonks likes to play around with her Metamorphamagus abilities, even in bed. It can get kind of ridiculous.

 **H = Hair** (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

When Tonks doesn’t make the hair completely disappear, it matches whatever shade her head is; that means it’s usually neon-pink.

 **I = Intimacy** (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

For all that Tonks loves being a Metamorphamagus, she rarely shows her real form anymore. She saves it for the people closest to her, like her parents and her spouses. They get to sleep 

**J = Jack Off** (masturbation headcanon)

Tonks enjoys masturbating, especially onto the bodies of her wives while in her male form.

 **K = Kink** (one or more of their kinks)

Tonks is fairly dominant in bed, regardless of what her form is. Even if she starts out playing submissive, she very quickly turns it around. That's all right with Harry, though some of their wives--like Hermione and Daphne--make it a contest. No one minds losing occasionally.

She also enjoys being watched; seeing her lovers' eyes fill with desire for her.

 **L = Location** (favorite places to do the do)

Tonks is good having sex more or less anywhere, except on the dinner table, and she doesn't care as much for sex in the garden. 

**M = Motivation** (what turns them on, gets them going)

Tonks is always in the mood, but she especially likes to use sex to celebrate something, like arresting a wanted criminal or hearing that Hufflepuff won the last quiditch game at Hogwarts (even though everytone's been graduates for years, and her longer than most).

 **N = No** (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Any mention of the Death Eaters and especially "Aunt Bellatrix" put Tonks in foul mood, and it's hard to break her out of it.

 **O = Oral** (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Tonks prefers receiving oral to giving it, though she can, and nobody complains when she does. Still, she prefers other forms of pleasing her partners.

 **P = Pace** (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Tonks is fast and rough ninety-nine times out of a hundred. Sex isn't about sensuality for her, except as foreplay

 **Q = Quickie** (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Tonks is always in the mood for a quickie, unless she's in the mood for something longer.

 **R = Risk** (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Tonks is pretty happy to experiment. The only risk she's certain she won't take is risking that her parents might walk in on her.

 **S = Stamina** (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

Tonks has plenty of stamina, though the intensity of sex with her tends to end fairly quickly. She can easily get through two or three couplings in the amount of time it takes Fleur or Padma to get through one.

 **T = Toys** (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Tonks has some blindfolds, handcuffs, and collars for her spouses. She her own body parts vibrate and assume a male form, so she doesn't need other toys.

 **U = Unfair** (how much they like to tease)

Tonks will happily tease her spouses; she likes to hear them beg, though she doesn't pro-long it too much. Usually. 

**V = Volume** (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) 

Tonks can let out some loud explicatives, especially when she cums, but she's mostly quiet.

 **W = Wild Card** (a random headcanon for the character)

Tonks knows how to pole dance. She learned it for exercise (and for a laugh), and now her spouses really enjoy watching her.

Tonks has a dream of knocking some of her wives up in her male form, impregnating them with her children. She's recently broached the subject. Luna is vocally interested in the idea; Hermione tries to hide it, but she'd intrigued as well. Harry has supported the idea and promised to love the children as his own.

 **X = X-Ray** (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Tonks' body is always changing. Typically, though, she has high B to low C cup breasts (attractive but not too big as to get in her way). She's fond of taking advantage of her abilities to wear piercings in her ears, navel, nipples, and even occasionally in her labia or clit hood. Her limbs are all lean muscle, her stomach is flat and hard, and her butt is very tight. 

**Y = Yearning** (how high is their sex drive?)

Tonks has a high sex drive; she counts herself lucky to have so many spouses with who can keep up with her.

 **Z = Zzz** (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Tonks falls asleep pretty fast. She'll start off cuddling, but she has the habit of spreading out on bed in her sleep. Her spouses have learned that if they have to get up in the night to use the bathroom or anything, they'll have to fight to get back in bed.


	4. Daphne Greengrass

**A = Aftercare** (what they’re like after sex)

Daphne knows how much aftercare means to a strong relationship. She always makes sure her lovers are well-taken care of after she's done with them.

 **B = Body Part** (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

Daphne's favorite body part is her face. She knows how to look regal, and she enjoys presenting herself that way. She love's her partner's voices, hearing their reactions to her.

 **C = Cum** (anything to do with cum, basically)

Daphne prefers to have Harry (and the male Tonks) cum inside her, but she isn't as insistent on it as some of her wives are. 

**D = Dirty Secret** (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

Daphne has a sexual fantasy of her and Tracey being taken simultaneously by Harry and Tonks in her male form. She hasn't mentioned it yet, as she's not certain Tracey would go for it.

 **E = Experience** (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Daphne and Tracey were a couple long before they joined the Potter family, but they had no experience with other women or any man.

 **F = Favorite Position** (this goes without saying)

Daphne's a pretty intense switch. Depending on her mood she'll either want to take control and ride her partner's dick/pussy, hand or face, but at other times, she'll want to be thrown down and taken like a captive or ploughed like a bitch in heat.

 **G = Goofy** (are they more serious in the moment? Are they humorous? etc.)

Daphne is many things during sex: proud and meek, commanding and submissive, but the one thing she never is, is goofy. She may make a wry comment once in a blue moon, but that's as close as she gets.

 **H = Hair** (how well groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Between her thighs, Daphne's hair is a darker blonde than her head hair, and she keeps it neatly trimmed.

 **I = Intimacy** (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

In the afterglow, Daphne will seriously tell her partner how much they mean to her. Outside of sex, Daphne is reserved, but she appreciates the occasional romantic gesture, and she does sometimes offer her own (especially to Tracey).

 **J = Jack Off** (masturbation headcanon)

Daphne will occasionally masturbate if the mood strikes her, though not often. In her submissive moods, she'll play with herself for her partner's pleasure. In her dominant mood, she might do it to tease her partner, though not for long.

 **K = Kink** (one or more of their kinks)

Daphne is fond of threesomes. Sharing a man (either Harry or male Tonks) with one of her wives is her favorite kind of sex. 

**L = Location** (favorite places to do the do)

Daphne used to insist that bedroom activities be performed only in the bedroom. Then, Padma showed her what making love was like in the sunlight in the garden, and she decided that was occasionally acceptable as well.

 **M = Motivation** (what turns them on, gets them going)

Sex for Daphne is usually the culmination of some kind of romance. It doesn't have to be a big, extravagant date, but she appreciates some build up or a reason to celebrate.

 **N = No** (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Mentions of some of her former housemates tends to ruin Daphne's mood. The fact that Malfoy and Pansy are married to her sister now is a particular sore-spot.

 **O = Oral** (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Daphne is the best at oral sex. She's very good at using her mouth and tongue as well as her hand to please her partner's cock or cunt. It's generally agreed that if Daphne gets her mouth on anyone, they're totally helpless and too happy to care. 

**P = Pace** (are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)

Dominant or Submissive, Daphne rarely goes slow and sensual.

 **Q = Quickie** (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Daphne likes to pretend that quickies are beneath her, but in her submissive moods, she'll enjoy them if her spouse wants it from her.

 **R = Risk** (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

Daphne doesn't care much for risks when it comes to sex. She'll experiment some, but she doesn't push her limits much.

 **S = Stamina** (how many rounds can they go for? How long do they last?)

As long as she doesn't have to do all the work, Daphne can usually last a few rounds.

 **T = Toys** (do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)

Daphne's favorite toy is a long purple dildo she knows how to use very well. She also knows a spell to make it vibrate.

 **U = Unfair** (how much they like to tease)

Daphne likes to tease and be teased. She's the meanest, but she can take her own medicine.

 **V = Volume** (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Typically Daphne starts and ends there, but she can be made to scream, if her lover is willing to put in the effort.

 **W = Wild Card** (a random headcanon for the character)

While she hasn't done bondage yet, Daphne is seriously considering it.

 **X = X-Ray** (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Daphne keeps herself very clean and her skin very smooth. Her breasts are slightly smaller than Hermione's with pale nipples.

 **Y = Yearning** (how high is their sex drive?)

Daphne has a medium high libido. She enjoys sex every few days, but she doesn't have Hermione's daily need.

 **Z = Zzz** (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Daphne rarely falls asleep right away. She likes to discuss hard issues in the afterglow, believing it takes the edge off. 


End file.
